Open, Anyway

Dating from this version of me feels completely different.

I’m not trying to be impressive.
I’m not trying to convince someone to want me.
I’m not trying to hide my softness, or make myself smaller to feel safe.

I’m just… here.
Open.
Present.
Available to be seen.

And yes — sometimes I still feel the pull to protect.
To scan for red flags.
To hold back just in case.

There are moments I catch myself bracing — waiting for the silence, the shift, the disappointment I used to expect.
But I breathe through it.

I remind myself: that was then.
I’m not abandoning myself this time.

Because I trust myself now.
If something doesn’t feel right, I’ll honour that.
I’ll choose me.

That’s the difference.
It’s not about finding someone who never hurts me.
It’s about knowing that even if I do get hurt, I won’t lose myself in it.

This time, I’m not guarding my heart out of fear.
I’m holding it with love.

I don’t need perfect.
I don’t need a fairytale.
I just need honesty. Presence. Reciprocity.

I want to be met where I’m at — because that’s how I’m showing up too.

And if it doesn’t meet me there, I’ll walk away with my softness intact.
Still open.
Still whole.

Because I’m not just waiting for love.
I’m living in it — already — with myself.